Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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