What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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