just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
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