I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize