eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize