so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
When did angry sex become our thing?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
