my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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