Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
what day is it and did you see me today?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
