If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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