I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Fuck now we have to have sex
In a bet, need to win
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.