so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.