The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize