I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.