dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
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As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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