I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
