Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
So here I am, sexting at work.
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