We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
