I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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