Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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