found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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