hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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