SEEEEXXX PLEASE
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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