i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
