Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
A bitchslap is in order.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
