Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Randomize
