I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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