I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize