He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
