I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
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I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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