I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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