i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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