8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
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