I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
