$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
