Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
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I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
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