i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
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They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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