So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
