Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
The adults are the big ones right?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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