There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
love makes seman taste better
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
