is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize