no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
My breasts were aching with rage.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
