Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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