hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
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