He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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