I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
