i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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