is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
