Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
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