spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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