Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
