Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
