i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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