Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
