if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
