We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
high people should be assigned attendants
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Randomize
