I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
