my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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