Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
