He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
