my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
