dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
